What to do when those you Love just don’t get you

Have you changed?
Have you opened your eyes up to the truth that is all around you?

Have you awakened to your own truth?
For those that have, they quickly become well aware of the big issue in the room.

Their friends and family suddenly have no idea who they are.
Their relationships become strained, if they don’t disappear all together.

There is good reason for this, and I believe it is important that we all started talking about it.

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Transcript:

Andrew Hackett: If your family isn't going to love you for the choices that you're making, then that's fine. Don't hate on them, don't judge them. Don't bitch and moan about them, and certainly don't complain about it because that's only going to impact your life. What I suggest you do is offer love to the situation. Offer love to them and say, "Look, that's fine. I respect your opinion, that it is different from my own, but I am still going to go and make the decisions I need to make."

Good day, and welcome to Illimitable Living. I'm Andrew Hackett, and I'm here to talk about living a life free from fear's restrictive boundaries so that you can not only live a limitless life, but so that you can become truly illimitable. I am here in sunny Australia talking with my remarkable cohost Patricia Morris as we take you on a journey delving deep into the mysteries of the universe and how we live within it. Join me on a journey towards living a truly limitless life on the Illimitable Living podcast. 

Good day, everyone. You're listening to Illimitable Living. It's a conversational podcast where Patricia and I sit back and talk about a lot of the topics that we really believe the world needs to be talking about. Not the type of stuff you've find on mainstream media, but deeper conversations about helping us all move forward. You've joined me with Patricia Morris. Good day, Patricia. How are you doing this week?

Patricia Morris: I'm doing great, thank you. I'm doing so much better. I'm still getting over this cold, though, so again, if my voice starts to crack a little bit, you'll know where that's coming from, so thank you for that.

Andrew Hackett: It's all good. Look, you sound fabulous anyway. Certainly better than you did a few weeks ago, no doubt.

Patricia Morris: Oh, thank you. Yes, definitely. I couldn't even speak a few weeks ago.

Andrew Hackett: So tell me, what is it that you wanted to chat about today?

Patricia Morris: Well, I wanted to talk about those situations some of us are in, I know I'm in that myself; I mean I know how to handle it, but maybe our listeners don't, when those of us who are closest to us don't understand us, and that can mean so many things, and we can approach that from many different angles. What came to my mind was those of us who are, well I'm not in this situation, but those listeners who are maybe in a place in life where they're questioning their sexuality, and their family of origin is not understanding of that, or if you've chosen a different path from those who are closest to you and your family doesn't understand that path that you have chosen, whatever that path may be. So I would like to talk about that because I know as more of us are awakening in this world to personal development, spirituality, whatever you want to call it, we find that those of us who are closest to us don't understand it. I see also as more and more people are awakening, there are a lot of struggles with sexuality as well, so I thought that would be a great topic, and any other angles that we wanted to approach that on as well.

Andrew Hackett: Yeah. Look, another great choice, Patricia. Thank you for this. I want to definitely touch on that aspect of it where people ... are wanting to come out about their sexuality and the families are just not getting it or understanding, or a person's sexual orientation and stuff is very, very different than the belief system of the family. I do want to come back to that because that's really important, but what I wanted to start with is the other aspect. A lot of people who are starting to experience this awakening, starting to experience these fundamental changes within themselves, bringing conscious awareness to their level of unconsciousness [inaudible 00:04:03] they've been living their life, sometimes for decades, 30, maybe 40 years, and suddenly they're experiencing these things. What's happening is it's creating an extreme range of changes within them, within them as a person, within their belief system, within the choices that they're making obviously as a result of that changing belief system. What often they find is the people around them, it appears that they start to change. Of course the people around them are not changing at all; it's just the individual, the person's changing, and those around them are, in fact, just remaining unconscious.

What happens is there's quite both a physical and also a psychological change that happens within an individual when they start to experience an awakening. What common side effects that comes from that is long-held friendships, and certain family members, even colleagues at work who were very much aligned with the individual, very much aligned with the person while the person was living unconsciously, but as soon as that person starts to wake up, it feels like they leave those other people behind. That feeling is a little truer than a lot of people think. 

So, I think it's a great topic, and I really appreciate you raising it because I think a discussion around this would definitely help a lot of people.

Patricia Morris: Oh yeah, absolutely. We both have been through that ourselves, so it's something that is near and dear to our hearts as well.

Andrew Hackett: Absolutely. Look, the part of the process that I walk people through when I'm coaching them or I'm working with them in groups, things like that, is we first start off by analyzing the level of unconsciousness that they're experiencing. Trying to get them to become aware of it. In other words, bring conscious awareness to that level of unconsciousness, which then shines the light in that fear-drive, egocentric darkness [inaudible 00:06:06], and then allows a process of an uncovering, I suppose you could say, or a rebirth to happen. When people start to experience this awakening, they suddenly realize how dysfunctional the relationships they have had are, and more to the point, how a lot of those unconscious relationships were keeping them unconscious.

So, when we're unconscious, we're usually ruled by the ego. The ego then uses fear to keep us contained, to keep us unconscious, to keep us disconnected from our brilliance, and more to the point, all the good, wonderful things around us like love. Our vibrational frequency, and this vibrational frequency's something we've talked about before, and vibrational frequency is in fact lower. Then, what happens is when we start to awaken and bring conscious awareness to what's going on around us, we start learning new and exciting things. We start seeing the real reality for what it is, not the false reality that we'd been raised or indoctrinated into over a number of decades.

When we start to awaken, this vibrational frequency within us starts to rise. What happens is it starts to separate. Our frequency starts to separate from the common frequencies around us that remain unconscious, and a distance or a disconnection starts to happen. It's an incredibly common thing. I say this to a lot of people, particularly some people as well who, in the work that I do, they start to experience what I refer to as a "rapid acceleration," or a "rapid awakening." The real challenge can be that I don't want them to disconnect from their partners, for instance, or from their husband or wife, or their lovers. I don't want them to disconnect from that because that's an important part of their life, and it's often ingrained in their day-to-day happenings, but some awareness needs to be made aware of the fact that as their vibrational frequency rises and their partner's frequency stays the same that it will create a discord. It will create friction-

Patricia Morris: And it does.

Andrew Hackett: Absolutely it does. Absolutely it does. So, there's a couple of ways to tackle that: one is making the person whose frequency is rising, the person who's becoming awakened, just make them fundamentally aware of it so that when they start seeing their partner appearing very unconscious and disconnected, it's not actually about what's happening for the awakened person. It's more to the point that one has started to improve, grow, and evolve whereas the other person hasn't. Now we can bring the other person along. The awakening is available to absolutely everyone. You can do it together, and in fact, I highly suggest that you do because over a long period of time, if that discourse gets wider and wider, sometimes the relationships can fall apart as a result. Now, this also happens in family groups. I've seen families happen all the time, even in my family as well. My parents are wonderful. They love me dearly. They have always been incredibly supportive of everything that I've tried to do in my life. Do they fully understand everything I'm talking about? You know, they've got a bit of a grasp around some of it. Do they see it in the spiritual context that I'd present it in? No, but that's okay. They're entitled to their own beliefs.

More to the point, my brothers, again, good people. They do their own thing and live their own life, but they probably think that I've lost my marbles. They probably think that I've gone a little bit round the deep end and turned into a little bit of a [inaudible 00:09:57] or something like that. It's a fascinating thing, and they joke about it. We have at family dinners or at barbecues and stuff like that, and they joke about, you know, "Andrew's being the spiritual teacher," "Where is he? Is he off levitating somewhere?", or something like that. It's quite funny. They've got a great sense of humor and I love them dearly, but what happens is as the frequency starts to separate, the disconnection can happen.

It's incredibly common, and I say to people all the time, they first notice it within their friends usually, because we often have a better connection with our social friends than we do with our family, but when they start to notice their friends stepping back and their friends still wanting to go out and drink, or their friends still wanting to live unconsciously, it becomes really difficult for an awakened person to go back to that. It's like in the movie The Matrix, the red pill, blue pill. Once you select the red pill and you wake up, you cannot go back. It's just not possible anymore because you now know what you didn't what you didn't know previously. 

So, they start to see the disconnection. I just point out to them that it is a very natural part of the process, and to move forward, sometimes we need to leave behind what is holding us back. That's just a simple fact. It's not a happy story, per se, but it is a necessary one. As people step out of your life, because their discourse just grows further and further apart, other people will be attracted into your life, but at the new vibrational frequency that you're moving towards. So it's not necessarily a path of loneliness. I've got a couple of friends, very, very dear male friends of mine who I've known since I was 10. Remarkable people, in fact. They're doing their own thing. Do I get into heavy discussions about spirituality and everything like that with them? The answer's no, and a lot of that's not because that they're not capable of having those discussions; they're quite really intelligent, deep sort of fellows, but it's more to the point that my relationship with them is a very practical relationship. I love and cherish those friendships so very, very much. It's not that I'm not being myself; I'm always being myself, because they'd pick up on the fact if I wasn't, but those type of long-term relationships can be maintained. 

What we need to do is we need to change our expectation of the relationship slowly. As this discord starts to happen, we need to recognize the fact that they are where they are, and that's okay. That's their choice. There is no hierarchy here. There is no "I'm better than you" aspect. You probably see it all the time, Patricia, particularly at weekend seminars and all this other stuff, there's a lot of people around there that think that there's this hierarchy to spirituality. "I'm more spiritual than you."

Patricia Morris: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Andrew Hackett: What's that fabulous, remarkable, gorgeous man with the long red hair that does the ultra-spiritual-

Patricia Morris: JP Sears. 

Andrew Hackett: Oh, right. Beautiful, thank you.

Patricia Morris: Love him.

Andrew Hackett: Had a mind freeze. So, I love that guy's work because what it does is it bring conscious awareness to these completely rubbish connotation of this spiritual hierarchy, that "I'm more spiritual than you because I've written more books," or "I'm more spiritual than you because I've held more events," or, "I'm more spiritual than you because I can wear long, flowing gowns and look fabulous." It's funny stuff, and I love the fact he's using comedy to address the issue.

Patricia Morris: Yes, yeah.

Andrew Hackett: Like it's gentle, it's lighthearted, and a lot of people don't realize he's actually a highly spiritual guy himself.

Patricia Morris: Oh, he is.

Andrew Hackett: If you've ever gone onto YouTube and checked out some of his serious stuff, the guy's right on point.

Patricia Morris: Oh, he is.

Andrew Hackett: He knows his stuff. He's remarkable.

Patricia Morris: It's quite an experience, actually, if all you've experienced is his comedy, to listen to one of his serious episodes.

Andrew Hackett: I know, yes.

Patricia Morris: You're like, "Wat a minute. Is this the same guy?"

Andrew Hackett: Yeah, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. Sometimes when I'm wide awake as I've been on a high all day from all of this stuff, getting stuff done and working with the teams, because a lot of my team calls need to be done in the evenings because they're based out of Europe and out of America. When I'm on a high, I get onto YouTube and just plug my ears in and listen to some of his stuff because I just find it so incredibly grounding as well, and so important.

I try to point out to people that when they're going through this amazing change, when they're going through their own personal awakening, accelerated or otherwise, they've got to expect the fact that some doors will close. They've got to expect that fact, and that's just part of the process. That's just what it's all about. 

Patricia Morris: It is, and you don't want to hang onto what is no longer serving you anymore, or even serving the other person because really, it goes both ways. How I saw it back then was, "Oh, I don't want to have these relationships that are not serving me, but at the same breath, I'm not serving them either because they're not in a place where vibrationally they're matching me as well," so we're not serving each other, really, is how that boils down. One thing I wanted to mention, too, at least for me how it worked was relationships, but also the job I was in. I could not be in that job any longer once I started awakening because the environment was so toxic. I was there mainly because it paid very well. I made an awesome paycheck, but it was so toxic that as soon as my vibration changed, I could not be in that atmosphere any longer. It was complete opposite of who I was and who I was becoming, so ...

Andrew Hackett: That's incredibly common, too. I hear about that all the time, and Michelle and I have experienced that ourselves quite a lot. A lot of it's about, we just, again, we need to change our expectations. When you awaken, you suddenly come across the reality of how unconscious the world is around you. Sitting there evangelizing and telling them all is never, ever going to work. If you've got friends that are unconscious and you're suddenly becoming awakened and pointing it out to them, it's not going to wake them up; it's going to make you look like an idiot. I say to people, "You've just got to breathe [inaudible 00:16:24]. You've just got to surrender to the moment and allow it all."

I work through people, so I do a lot of work with people helping them change their careers. A lot of people that experience this awakening, they suddenly realize just like I did that the job that they had been doing for the last 10, 20, 30 years is not moving them forward. It's not helping humanity at all. It's not really providing a solution to the world or adding value; it's just shuffling paper. It's just bureaucracy for bureaucracy's sake.

Patricia Morris: So paying the bills and that's it.

Andrew Hackett: Yeah, yeah, which is important. It's still an important practical aspect. We can't just suddenly burn all of our clothes and sell our house and go live in a cave. Life doesn't actually work that way.

Patricia Morris: No, it doesn't.

Andrew Hackett: As, actually, nice as an option that actually sounds some days, but particularly a cave with no wifi access. That's exactly what I need every now and then, but the point being is we still need to be practical. I walk people through a process of changing careers. This is where my 29 years as a management consultant comes into great stead. They want to get out of the career they're in and into a newer career, and the new career is usually more spiritually aligned with their purpose in life. Once we find their purpose in life, they want to then implement it and turn it into a commercial offering in some sense so they can earn income from it, like they did their day job, but they can do it in a way that's moving them forward, moving their community forward, providing value to humanity, providing solutions and not problems. There is a really beautiful process that I've developed to help them do that where you slowly turn the dial down on the old job and turn the dial up on the new job. 

Now people think that they can just leave one job and then go and start a new job, and suddenly it's all going to come together. It doesn't work that way when you're building business. Business is a practical thing, and building business is really, really important. You need to take time to do it. It takes years to build a business. You still got bills to pay throughout that period of time, so sometimes it's better just to keep your old job. Slowly turn the volume down on that while you turn the volume up on the other one. Anybody's who's ever in that situation, they've had a massive awakening, they want to create what I refer to as a "spiritually-based business." Doesn't matter how it looks, but just something that moves humanity forward, and you want someone to help, as a business coach, to walk you through how to slowly get out of your day job while still making sure you pay the bills, and getting to your new business and make that a viable ongoing concern, then give me a call. Send me an email to andrew@andrewhackett.com.au. Happy to help you out with that because I help people out with that all the time. It's exactly what I've done, and doing very, very well at it.

But, again, keeping yourself in an environment that is unhealthy, that is unconscious is only going to drain you even more. Offices all over the world are the most toxic places, and people get sick all the time and all that sort of stuff. It's because, again, it's a frequency misalignment. There is things we can do to protect you while you need to remain in that situation as you turn the dial down and as you turn the dial up on the new opportunity. There is a great process in everything that's in play that I've implemented over and over again, so just [inaudible 00:20:00] think about it if you're in that situation.

I also want to get back to, so did you want to say something?

Patricia Morris: Yeah, just really quick. I'm so glad that you mentioned that because as a spiritual teacher myself, I've noticed a lot when I'm helping people awaken to their purpose in life, they immediately, like you said, just want to quit the job that they have and then immediately open a spiritually-based business, which is a noble cause. There's nothing wrong with that, but when they're so brand new to awakening all of this, they're learning about the law of attraction and manifesting, and they believe that, "Hey, I am on my life's path. The universe is just going to make this all work out, and all I have to do is manifest it and everything's going to be great." Sometimes that does happen. I'm not saying it doesn't, but the reality is most of the time it doesn't happen that way because it's like you said, Andrew: you have to start years before you get to that point, and that is part of the manifestation process.

I think sometimes when we are new to this or maybe even forget this if we're more seasoned to it, we forget that you have to have patience because it all will happen in divine timing when it's meant to. Sometimes if we want it right away, it doesn't mean it's going to happen right away, and we still have to work on manifesting and attracting that into our lives, but we also have to dial it down, like you said. So I'm really glad you said that because that is a huge thing I see over and over again when people are awakening, is they just immediately want to quit that job and get started on their life's purpose. I get that, because you spend your whole life looking for that. Maybe subconsciously you don't realize you are, but once you do get to that point, you're excited. You're full of life, you're full of passion, and you just want to go and save the world. That's a noble cause, but you have to take the necessary steps to get there, so I'm really glad that you mentioned that.

Andrew Hackett: No, you're very welcome. You're right: the necessary steps, building a business in a physical world is a practical thing that you need to do, and you need to be practical in your thought process about it. If it takes you three years to become well-known and wanted in whatever you're trying to offer the world, it means that within that three years, you've got either two options: you either have lots of money or you have lots of time. They're ultimately the two things because quality can't be compromised, because quality will, you compared it as "we'll be offering quality," and you can't compromise on the quality, particularly when you're dealing with spiritually-based businesses and spiritually based models. So you've either got time or you've got money. Now ultimately speaking, if you leave your job, you've got plenty of time, which is great, but how are you going to pay your bills? The other option is is you work a double job effectively. You work your normal job, and then outside of those hours, you use the money from the first job to help you get the new business up and running. Again, it's essential to be practical about this. 

My team, Team Andrew as they call themselves, which is kind of cute-

Patricia Morris: That is cute.

Andrew Hackett: Yeah. So Team Andrew is based all over the world: I've got people in a number of places across Australia, I've got people in the UK, I've got people in Poland, the Ukraine, and also across in America in New York. The reason why my team is so disjointed is because one, as part of my management consulting, I'm highly experienced in managing remotely [inaudible 00:23:46] teams, which means I can tap into skills all over the place. The other aspect is, quite simply, these people were the best at what they do. It is an outsourcing-style model. Now, all my personal one-on-one work is always direct. The stuff that I do with people is always stuff I do only through myself. I don't have coaches working for me, I don't have all of that happening.

Maybe that's a model that I'll look at in regards to expansion in years to come, because eventually as time goes and the business grows, my attention will need to be more on [inaudible 00:24:24] big events and all that sort of stuff, but all my comments on Facebook, all of the stuff that I do working directly with people is all me. I farm out strategy, I farm out process, I farm out systems to other people because they can get all of that sort of stuff done. They can do all of that for me. That doesn't require a physical conversation with the client. That doesn't require a face-to-face meeting with a group because that's where my time is better spent. Ultimately speaking, there are all of these different strategies and systems that can be put in place to ensure that you keep your day job while you're trying to get the other one going up, and again, you slowly turn the other one down. So you might drop a day here or a day there as you're picking up a day here and a day in the new role as well. That's really, really important, but that's, perhaps, another podcast for another day.

Patricia Morris: It is, but it also is related to our topic, so that's awesome that we talked about that as well, but I love that. Yeah, that would be another great topic for us to talk about in the future.

Andrew Hackett: Certainly, certainly. So, the other thing I wanted to get back to, like I mentioned at the beginning, is the other point that you made about people, particularly people who are developing a sexual orientation, or not developing, recognizing or accepting a sexual orientation that's different to the belief system of their family. This is a really interesting thing. To me, family loves each other all the time. Even if our physical choices or physical attitudes or our physical words don't necessarily display it in all instances, I think family does love each other. However, and I'm a strong believer of this, particularly as adults, if our family members are not supporting us moving forward, we cannot choose our family members over our own personal forward path. We need to choose our forward path. That is so important for two reasons: one, if we choose someone else rather than our forward path, we're just going to be unhappy. It's as simple as that because we're not going to be fulfilling our destiny. Two, our path is our responsibility to find and fulfill. Now I would say 90% of the people in the world have no idea what their path is. It can be found. I do specialize in helping people find their path, but if you don't find your path and you don't fulfill it, a gap is created in the universe. 

That gap, if fulfilled, enabled a whole bunch of other people to find and fulfill their purpose. It's like this constant "pay it forward" scheme that happens at quite an unconscious level. But, if you actively choose not to, that's okay. That's still your choice. The universe isn't going to judge you for it. However, it does leave a gap, and it takes time for that gap to be filled because someone else with the same type of background with the same experience has to start to develop the same desire, and kind of fill the same space and time, almost, to be able to fill that gap. 

So, my thought process is if you are different, if you are starting to accept and understand a different sexual orientation, if you are wanting just even a different type of career, I don't care what it is. If you want to go and a clown, a professional clown, for a living, I say go and do it. If your friends don't accept you as a result of that, to be quite honest with you, they were never your friends in the first place. If your family isn't going to love you for the choices that you're making, then that's fine. Don't hate on them. Don't judge them. Don't bitch and moan, and certainly don't complain about it because that's only going to impact your life. What I suggest you do is offer love to the situation. Offer love to them and say, "Look, that's fine. I respect your opinion, that it is different from my own, but I am still going to go and make the decisions I need to make."

Patricia Morris: Yep.

Andrew Hackett: I say to people all the time, "You're the hero in your story. That's what this is all about. You need to start living life on your terms your way." There is no compromise to be made to that, in my opinion.

Patricia Morris: An important thing that I found through that whole process, I haven't gone through a sexual thing like that, but I have gone through where my family no longer understood me and the path I had chosen in life. You do have to get to that point because it is extremely difficult when your loved ones are not accepting of who you are, but the thing that I had to understand and I held onto pleasing them over myself, because that's really what it boiled down to, was just me wanting to please them rather than doing what was right for myself. That is incredibly draining. It is draining on so many levels, and it's exhausting. You eventually get to a place where you can't do it anymore and you're like, "Hey, if they're going to cut me off because of this, then so be it. I cannot live my life being physically exhausted anymore, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted," so I think that plays into it as well, living a double life, because that's kind of what it is. You're, at that point, living a double life.

Andrew Hackett: Absolutely. You know what it is? It's not just physically exhausting and emotionally exhausting and even spiritually exhausting, although I completely agree with what you said, it's also poisoning you.

Patricia Morris: Yes.

Andrew Hackett: When you are living in a situation when you cannot be yourself and you, in fact, have to be someone else, the lack of authenticity, the lies that you have to perform, the role-play that goes on with being the character that you are not, actually toxifies and poisons your body. It's a real issue because what that does is it starts to open up a whole raft of issues associated with illness and disease, and who knows what, but we need to be ourselves. We came here to be us for a reason. If you're gay or however you identify, and to be quite honest with you, I don't ... understand it because I've never experienced it myself. I am a heterosexual male in a relationship with a female, and I love her. That's fabulous, and it works for us. 

I don't understand it because I haven't experienced it, but I do respect it and I do respect your ability to make the choices that you want to make in the same way I respect everybody to be able to believe what they want to believe. I don't care what religious doctrine or upbringing or cultural upbringing that you have had. I don't care about that because I'm only interested in the soul that is within. I'm only interested in the person that I see before me. I don't care about political beliefs. I don't care about religious beliefs. I don't care about sexual orientation. I don't care about color, creed, race, or any of that sort of stuff at all. We are people. We are a collective. We are connected as one. If I was to harm you, I'm harming myself. If I'm going to harm myself, I'm also harming you. This is the reality that we live in, whether we choose to accept it or not. Some things are the truth whether we accept them or not.

Ultimately speaking, you need to know and find who you are. I found so many people that have been so indoctrinated into belief systems that have become so toxic and unhealthy for them, they have physically forgotten who they are, and I find it a real incredible, deep personal tragedy. They come to me and they don't know which way to go. They don't know what direction to take. They don't know what to think half the time, and their heart is just crying out for someone to just sit down with them and look at them and hold them, and just go, "You know what? We will find you again. I know you're in there somewhere. We've just got to peel away the layers that you've put up, the layer of indoctrination. The layers of false teachings"-

Patricia Morris: [crosstalk 00:32:35].

Andrew Hackett: "The layers of conditioning. The layers of all this sort of stuff that have covered up the real you. You are in there and you are accepted, and you are loved. Together we can definitely do that, and then when we do find you, we can make sure that that new you is strong and capable, and proud, and real, and authentic, and all those beautiful, remarkable things, because to me, that is the essence of who we are, and we need to find that essence and we need to fulfill that purpose because if we don't, maybe no one else can, which means then there's a gap there left behind. I've talked about this before as well: we map out a path before we are born into this physical body as a baby, and yes, we forget that path, and the whole point of life is to find that path again and to fulfill it. 

We all come here to do this. Sometimes our paths are ... quite tragic. Sometimes our paths are very difficult. Sometimes our paths are beautiful and heroic, but all of them are just as important. My path, getting up on stage and helping hundreds of people and all that sort of stuff, is no more important than the path of a child or the path of a cleaner, or the path of a mechanic, or the path of a teacher, or an office worker. Whatever labels you want to put on whatever you want to put them on, it's not important. My path is no more important than anybody else's path. It just might be that my path might be a little bit more visible. That's all. 

Patricia Morris: Yeah. That's awesome because one thing that came to mind when you were talking about all that, we did briefly mention that it can be painful because there will be people that we will have to let go from our lives, or they will let us go from our lives when we finally step into a place of loving and accepting who we are and not hiding that from other people anymore. The one thing that I wanted to point out is yes, it can be painful. It can be really hard to lose relationships with people who you have developed a deep bond with, but the other side of that coin is extraordinary growth then occurs when you can shed that that is no longer serving you. I see it time and time again play out, even in my own life. As I am evolving as a person, so do my friends and so do my relationships. That just is a natural result of evolution, and every single time that cycle completes itself, I can see the extraordinary growth that occurs because of that. 

So, if anybody is in that situation right now, I would just encourage you to keep the faith that extraordinary growth will occur if you can have the courage to step forward and stop hiding who you are from everybody else. There's a little meme that I put on Facebook the other day, and I know you resonated with it too, Andrew, was both faith and fear require us to believe in that which cannot be seen, so you make the choice of what you want to believe. Do you want to believe in faith, or do you want to believe in fear?

Andrew Hackett: Yeah, that's so beautiful and I did resonate with that. I remember commenting on it. The one beautiful thing I remember, we need to shed what no longer works for us, and this is so back to topic as well. We need to shed beliefs that are no longer working for us. We need to shed the rules they create that are no longer working for us. We need to shed the choices that those rules impact on that no longer work for us, but we also need to shed the relationships that are no longer working for us. This is really, really important. I'm not talking about just completely denying the relationship. I'm not talking about walking away from it entirely; I'm talking about changing the expectations that you have around that relationship. If you have a certain set of beliefs and they change to a new set of beliefs, those new set of beliefs are no longer working with that group of people, whether it's family or whether it's friends, whether it's even a partner. As adults, we can respectfully agree to disagree, but if we can't, you cannot stop becoming the person you're supposed to become. You can't stop finding the true sense of yourself that you need to find just because someone else disagrees with it or doesn't understand it, or can't move on themselves.

Patricia Morris: Yeah, or sometimes they will disconnect the relationship with you. It's not anything that you've consciously done.

Andrew Hackett: Correct.

Patricia Morris: At least I know for me, some family members and friendships just think that the path that I was going down was one of the devil and one of hell, and so they thought that by that, that I was going to hell and I was this evil person, and so they cut off the relationship. That is, of course, their right to do so. That's kind of what I was meaning when yeah, you can try to treat the relationship with love and do all those wonderful things, but ultimately, if the person is not open to that, then they end up cutting off the relationship and that is, sadly, sometimes what happens.

Andrew Hackett: You know what's actually happening in the background now? What actually is triggering the psychological thing that's happening within that person is the last thing the ego wants, the ego loves to hide in the darkness of unconsciousness. The last thing it wants is conscious and awareness being brought to its attention. The last thing it wants is a light shone on it because it is quite happily in control in those dark halls. So, usually when you've got people who are unconscious, let's say in a group, and one of those people becomes conscious, usually the egos in those other five people will start to retract and step away because they don't want to be seen. They do not want their unconsciousness called to account, even if you don't say a word. The mere presence of your consciousness calls unconsciousness [inaudible 00:39:04].

Patricia Morris: Oh, that's awesome. I love that.

Andrew Hackett: Yeah, very much so. This is really what's actually going on. It's not about you in there. Everything that happens within an individual is between the individual and the universe, or as a lot of faiths say, it's between them and God. It's not between you and them. If they truly love you, if their friendship with you is genuine and real and based on all the right things, they'll accept you for the changes that you make and then they'll love you for it. They may not understand it. May not agree with it. They may not go with it and run with it, but they will certainly love you for it and understand what you're going through, but if they can't and they just want to remain unconscious, you've got to respect that as well. You've got to allow that to just be and just love them and let them go about their way. To me, that is the kindest thing that can happen, because if you constantly try to battle with it or evangelize or try and change them as well, yes, you may be right, but right and wrong is irrelevant. There is no right and wrong; there's only everybody else's perspective on what is actually going on.

Patricia Morris: Yes. You nailed it. That is so true.

Andrew Hackett: So, sometimes the best thing to do is love yourself enough to move forward and love them enough to allow them to go. 

Patricia Morris: Yes, and that can happen over and over again as we continue to evolve.

Andrew Hackett: Sure, absolutely.

Patricia Morris: Yeah, it's an ongoing thing, and it's a natural result of evolution.

Andrew Hackett: Yeah, that's right, and it's the same with family. As I say all the time, my two brothers, if I met them in a pub somewhere, would we become the best of mates? You know what? We wouldn't, because we're very, very different people, and that is actually completely okay. That's the way we're designed to be. I've got some great mates and I've known them for, wow, 35 years now. They're remarkable guys, but we're also very, very different, but we love each other for it. It's the same with my brothers. I may not speak with them on the phone regularly. I might only get a chance to see them once a year. When we see each other, we embrace each other, we laugh, we have fun. We accept each other for the differences that we are, and then we go about our lives. That is completely okay. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I would say the only thing that could be considered to be wrong, and again, it's up to you and your belief system, but trying to force people to stay the way you want them to stay because it makes you feel safer is a real wrong type of love to be offering, in my opinion. It's not love at all.

Patricia Morris: No, it's not. It's not love at all, and it's actually a very unhealthy thing if that's what is happening.

Andrew Hackett: Yeah, yeah.

So you know what? Another fabulous topic. God, you come up with some great ones, Patricia. You really do.

Patricia Morris: I do?

Andrew Hackett: I love these chats. I really do. I think it's important for people to hear these chats. I love the listeners for tuning in and connecting with all of this sort of stuff. I really look forward to the future where we can perhaps open up a telephone line and we can take some calls from people so we can get some of these discussions happening live on air as well where people can really start to push the boundaries, I suppose you can say, of what they really want to know and what they need to know to help them move forward. These discussions, I think, are really important, and I know you've got probably another hundred, 150, 300 topics that we can cover, and I so sincerely really look forward to exploring every single last one of them with you.

Patricia Morris: Oh, me too. I absolutely enjoy this. This is what makes my brain light up-

Andrew Hackett: Yeah, [inaudible 00:42:40].

Patricia Morris: And my heart light up as well.

Andrew Hackett: I agree. It's the highlight of my week. It really is, and I have a lot of highlights. I love a lot of my calls with people and the events I do and stuff like that, but I like this. I like format. You and I are talking. I love the male and female energy that's involved with it. I like the fact that it's then out there in the ether for people to digest in their own time whenever they want, whether they're in the car, whether they're in the office, doing their housework, lying in bed at night, whatever works for them. It's available to everybody who just wants to just think about things in a slightly different way. 

Patricia Morris: Yes, and the beauty of it, like you said, is they can listen to it on their own timeline, which if they were listen to it, let's say, today, and they weren't ready to hear it, it really wouldn't make that much of an impact, but if they play it, say, a month or two from now when they are ready to hear it, then bam. That's when change happens. So I'm a firm believer that with podcasts and things like that, especially ones of a spiritual nature like ours are, that people will listen to them in the right timing for them. 

Andrew Hackett: Oh, completely agree. I remember Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now actually sat on my bed stand for about two years before I actually picked it up and had this "oh my God" moment with it. I mean, an extraordinary book and I highly recommend it to anybody. That's Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. Again, the same with this; I believe that the universe puts podcasts, articles, books, TV shows even, documentaries, radio shows in our path for a very specific reason. In fact, I don't think the universe wastes a single second of anything.

Patricia Morris: That's right.

Andrew Hackett: I think every moment is a purposeful synchronicity of our own forward direction and journey. It's only when we become consciously aware of it can we start to see it as it's happening and see the meaning behind it all. I tell you know, when you do and when you can, it's remarkable. Talk about accelerated growth. When you're seeing synchronicities as they're happening or even before this happened, I'm telling you right now, you can react to them precisely when they happen, which means nothing gets slowed down; everything moves along at such a highly accelerated rate. It's beautiful, but to do that, you need to grow. You need to find yourself. You need to be proud of yourself and love yourself. If you've got relationships that are holding you back, you either need to change your expectations of those relationships but don't hold yourself back, or you need to change the status of those relationships because you are here to fulfill a purpose, and that purpose, in my opinion, is your number one priority.

Patricia Morris: Absolutely, absolutely.

Andrew Hackett: So thank you, Patricia. Another great week, another great episode. I really love chatting with you. This has been remarkable. I'm really looking forward to chatting with you again next week as well, and to everybody who's listening, thank you so much for coming on board. I love having you here. If you want to get in touch with me and stuff, please do. I would love to chat to you about what's going on with you and find out how we can work together so that we can get you moving on your path forward, find your purpose, find who you are. Whatever the problem is that you're facing and stuff, I'm pretty sure that I can help you out.

Thanks again, Patricia. I can't-

Patricia Morris: My pleasure.

Andrew Hackett: Wait to talk to you again next week.

Patricia Morris: Yes, me too. Thank you again. Thank you, Andrew, and thank you to our listeners for tuning in every week. 

Andrew Hackett: Take care, everybody.

Patricia Morris: Take care. Bye-bye.

Andrew Hackett: Thank you for listening to Illimitable Living today. If you want to find out more about living a truly limitless life, then go to andrewhackett.com.au. If you want to connect with me, search for "Andre Hackett Australia" on Facebook and like my page, or search for "Andrew S. Hackett" on Instagram and follow me for daily inspirations. I look forward to connecting with you so that we can start you on your own journey towards illimitable living.